Everyone got their breath back after that weekend of Premier League football?
38 goals - including some absolute screamers, most of which came at Anfield - some calamitous self-destruction and not a great deal of defending going on. What a godsend it is there isn't another international break until March.
Before we dive into the team of the week, we must extend our sincere apologies to Kieran Trippier, Ben 'The Tree' Mee and Son Heung-min, who would ordinarily have made it into such an XI but have been denied entry on this occasion. There's always next week, lads.
Premier League team of the week: Gameweek 14
GK: James Trafford
- Match: Burnley 5-0 Sheffield United
- Notable contributions: Clean sheet, three shots saved
- Fun fact: Trafford is a trained tractor driver
It's not every day that Burnley keep a clean sheet. Actually, Saturday was their first in the Premier League all season.
James Trafford squeezes into our team of the week by virtue of the fact he made more saves than any other goalkeeper who shut out the opposition this weekend. So what if it was only against 10-man Sheffield United, eh?
RB: Trent Alexander-Arnold
- Match: Liverpool 4-3 Fulham
- Notable contributions: One winning goal, one free-kick which cruelly went down as an own goal
- Fun fact: Once played a game of chess with the world champion (and lost after 17 moves)
There was a lot of discourse over the November international break that Trent Alexander-Arnold was inferior to Reece James.
Clearly, he took that personally. While James was serving a suspension, Alexander-Arnold fired in an 88th-minute winner at home to Fulham.
CB: Fabian Schar
- Match: Newcastle United 1-0 Manchester United
- Notable contributions: Clean sheet, locked down Anthony Martial, ran around him a few times for good measure
- Fun fact: Won the North-East FWA Player of the Year award in 2019, which was presumably a terrible year for the region
For much of his early years at Newcastle, Fabian Schar was just another Premier League defender. Under Eddie Howe's guidance, he's carving out a reputation as one of the division's most reliable centre-backs.
The Switzerland international had real joy in their win against Man Utd. The only criticism you'd have is he played as if he was going to be in trouble with some mobsters if he didn't score, leading to a series of pot-shots from distance.
CB: Benoit Badiashile
- Match: Chelsea 3-2 Brighton & Hove Albion
- Notable contributions: Shut out Evan Ferguson, assisted Enzo Fernandez's first goal
- Fun fact: Full name is Benoit Ntambue Badiashile Mukinayi Baya
Why does Big Ben Badiashile get into the team of the week despite conceding two goals?
Because he was an absolute monster for 100 minutes against Brighton. That's why.
LB: Tino Livramento
- Match: Newcastle United 1-0 Manchester United
- Notable contributions: Clean sheet, made fools out of Marcus Rashford and Aaron Wan-Bissaka
- Fun fact: Eligible to play for Portugal and Scotland at national team level
Many questioned Newcastle's strategy to stock up on right-backs this summer as opposed to bringing in a senior deputy or replacement to Dan Burn.
Tino Livramento is proving ample cover on both sides of defence, and it's looking unlikely that BDB will win back his place at this rate.
CM: Enzo Fernandez
- Match: Chelsea 3-2 Brighton & Hove Albion
- Notable contributions: Two goals, only one of which was a penalty
- Fun fact: Named after former Uruguay international Enzo Francescoli
A congratulations is in order to Chelsea, who saw their £105m midfielder - only the second-most expensive player in their starting pivot - score his first two Premier League goals at the weekend.
Pop those champagne corks. The good times are here to stay.
CM: Martin Odegaard
- Match: Arsenal 2-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers
- Notable contributions: One goal, looked pretty cool with the rainbow armband on
- Fun fact: Been playing professional for nine years now (he's only 24)
After Arsenal fans popularised their cracking chant for Martin Odegaard (go look it up), his form sort of fell by the wayside.
Their club captain has looked back to his best since the November international break, putting on a show against Wolves on Saturday.
RM: Bukayo Saka
- Match: Arsenal 2-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers
- Notable contributions: One goal
- Fun fact: Started at left-back in Mikel Arteta's first game in charge
Can you name five Premier League players who are definitely better than Bukayo Saka?
Give it a try. His greatness goes unnoticed sometimes.
AM: Dejan Kulusevski
- Match: Manchester City 3-3 Tottenham Hotspur
- Notable contributions: One goal, one assist
- Fun fact: Celebration was inspired by LeBron James
It was fitting that Dejan Kulusevski celebrated scoring the footballing version of a slam dunk by mimicking one of the greatest basketball players to ever live.
The Swede has now scored twice the amount of goals this season (four) compared to last in 22 fewer games.
LM: Anthony Gordon
- Match: Newcastle United 1-0 Manchester United
- Notable contributions: One winning goal
- Fun fact: Has since made up with Schar after getting into a scuffle during his time at Everton
After initially struggling to make an impact on Tyneside, Anthony Gordon is now the sweetheart of Newcastle fans.
His most recent exploits saw him bag the winner against Man Utd.
CF: Zeki Amdouni
- Match: Burnley 5-0 Sheffield United
- Notable contributions: One goal, one assist
- Fun fact: Finished as the top scorer in last season's Europa Conference League
We started with Burnley, we'll finish with Burnley.
For the very, very few people who own Zeki Amdouni on FPL, it was quite a milestone week - the Switzerland international chalked up a goal and assist.
